It’s not that hard for me to look for a new lover after I got broke up with my ex-, and it’s not about I can’t open my heart to anyone. Honestly, I’m not a typical person that hard to forget about the memories with “anyone” in the past, I can save even erase them without bring them to the present. It’s about getting mature, lesson-learned, and critical.
A year ago, I was not a good person who can face the relationship; I meant I didn’t understand about relationship, and what relationship was for. The last time I made a relationship was about on last December 2009 until broke up on February 2010, the reason’s why I did get broke up with my last ex- was because I didn’t get the feedback, the love-back, I meant, I always gave the love in 100% to her but I didn’t feel that she gave me back for 100%, she ever said to me “why we have to make a relationship if someday we will say goodbye to each other?”, after she said that I was just like speechless but I didn’t know why she accepted me as his boyfriend after she threw me her statement. After I got broke up, my mind changed like everything was turned 180 degrees and I said “Why I have to make a relationship if it just need for fun?” but sometime I feel like I do really want to make a relationship with a person in a serious way. Do you agree with these that the relationship consist of “Patience, Honesty, happiness, compromise, sadness, humor, intimacy, selflessness, togetherness, sex, commitment”? I do really agree! When you lose one of them, it hasn’t to call a relationship, which always needs a feedback. Honestly, there were more than 2 persons that really close to me after I got broke up in last year, but I feel no one of them was really right for me, it’s not about the physical thing but it’s about the self, the heart, the attitude (in the way to love) and principal. But, when I found the right one, it was just not for me because she’s already chased to another else and the thing that I love from myself is I always take the risk before I decide to make a process with anyone, so I don’t need to get the sadness too long. And sometimes, I think I don’t need a relationship since anyone can fulfill my emptiness when I feel the loneliness, but it’s not ever lasting, so I think relationship is more than a status, it needs a seriousness to build it and needs much of struggles to keep it. Love is a jerk, because it doesn’t have a principal, sometimes it makes you feel satisfied, sometimes it makes you drop like your heart is broken into pieces.